If you're a dreamer, a wisher, a liar
A hoper, a prayer, a magic-bean buyer
If you're a pretender come sit by my fire
For we have some flax-golden tales to spin
Come in...come in...
~Shel Silverstein

Friday, January 11, 2013

Ugh

So, anyone who read my blog yesterday knows I was asking how long I should leave a partial with an agent (the LAST partial I had out, I might add) before giving her a nudge to remind her of my existence. A lot of people very kindly responded to give it another month or two.

BUT by some cosmic coincidence she got back to me last night. Again--weird, since I just put the post up yesterday morning and I'd been waiting three months.

Rejection. All very subjective, they can only take on so many people, wishes me the best of luck elsewhere blah blah blah

I took it well. Really well. But only if you compare how I took it to how my two-year old grandson takes being told he has to go stand in the corner. In that contest, I think (I hope) I came  out marginally better. I mean...I wouldn't put any money on it, but I can hope, right?

I just...wish I could curse on my blog. haha. There are certain things that only a lot of cursing conveys. But I'll refrain. I wouldn't have last night--which is why I didn't post about this last night. I did, however, find myself wishing that I happened to get rejected on the first Tues. of February, so I could at least cry about it in an IWSG post today.

But it wasn't--and I need to do some crying anyway. Sorry. I promise to try and keep it to a minimum.  I just really wish they wouldn't make you wait three months to hear a rejection. There has to be a better system than that. It's like...the longer it takes, the more my hopes raise, and the more crushed I am when they're knocked back down. Again.

There were (for the first time, I might add) serious thoughts last night about quitting this whole game. I don't know. People have different make-ups. It's not like I want to be a quitter--I just don't know how many more rejections--especially on things like partials and fulls--I have in me. Pouring your whole heart and months and months of you life into something, only to be repeatedly told it isn't good enough...sometimes I wonder what the hell I was thinking starting this whole thing.

But then I've got five years into this. Five YEARS. Ugh. I really want to curse. Oh well. I'll curse out loud,  and, for those of you that don't mind, just interject a lot of it as you read along. So I can't quit. Cause then I just wasted five years and, on top of that, this is the only thing I've ever been good at. Although, jury is out on that too--cause apparently I'm not that good. Not even good enough to get someone to read past fifty pages.

So, bottom line is, I don't feel like I can quit--as of today I am forging on-- but I don't know how many more times I'll be knocked down again before that changes. Maybe a lot. Maybe I'm tougher than I think--or stubborn enough to not want to lose the game I've been playing with my life. Or, maybe not. Maybe one of these days I'm gonna open my email, see a rejection, and that's just gonna be it. Game over. You lose. Better luck next time.

I don't know. And that's where I guess I'll leave it right now.

32 comments:

  1. You've invested too much time and effort. If you quit now, you'll always wonder how close you were to success.
    Sorry about the rejection. (And yes, odd it came on the heels of that post.) If you don't want to cuss, you can always throw one of those Danica Patrick fits. They're kind of cute.
    First to comment! I'm sure that doesn't surprise you.

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    1. Doesn't surprise me at all. I gave it about five minutes and then thought...let me see what Alex thinks of this. haha. Clicked back on the blog and yup, there you are. Thank you for always posting. It's really sweet. And always appreciated. I have not see a Danica Patrick fit but I bet I put her to shame last night when that rejection came in. haha. I might have to youtube that and find out

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  2. Sorry Tamara, that sucks! A twist of the knife after your post yesterday but I'm sure it's just one of those coincidences life throws at us sometimes. Some days the waiting seems unbearable and then others I can't deal with it.

    Don't quit, stick with it we all know your pain :)

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    1. thanks...it really does help to know other people have felt the exact same way I'm feeling!

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  3. I'm sorry about the rejection, Tamara. That really does suck! At least you know now and can move on. Don't give up! You are really, really GOOD at this, and, if you keep at it, you'll succeed eventually.

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    1. Thanks, moonduster. It helps to hear that. I want to visit your blog--you're always so sweet about commenting on mine. You have a LIST of blogs though. hahah...and I don't know which one is the one your using. Can you tell me? Thanks!!

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  4. Yup — keep going! Don't worry about one contest or one agent. The trick is not to get hung up or get your hopes up.

    Remember, this whole thing's on your shoulders, not theirs. If you feel like you have no control, then quit. But you do have control: over whether you keep going, whether you keep learning as a writer, whether you keep making your work better. Eventually you'll nail it.

    So file that rejection away and put it out of your mind. Focus on the work, not the process, and you'll get there.

    John

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    1. Thanks, John. I know all this stuff. I do. I just...wish I could get some kind of definite verification that I'm a good enough writer to do this. But you're right, the only way to get better is to keep trying. Thanks!!

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  5. I know how it feels. I tried to publish like centuries ago when books were written by rows of monks. They were quite fast in rejecting me. (Like 15 days). And then one came. She praised my work, chased me during my vacation to ask me if details of the book could be changed if published. She made it sound like my book was going to be published within the month. She called three times in a week with questions and said she would sent the book to the (no less) owner of the publishing company. Suffice to say I already saw myself in a new Dragon Cave somewhere in the Mayan Riviera where I would just spend my time writing best sellers and living on my royalties. Yeah, right. Anyway, she disappeared after I said we could consider on changing the title. I waited, I called, nothing. Two months and dozens of calls later, she finally gets on the phone and tells me "I am sorry but we do not publish this kind of books." I was like WTF?!?!? and then all the urgency? all the questions about changing stuff? Like exactly when did you realize you don't publish this kind of stuff?. They didn't return my manuscript either. For me that was The End for a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time. I do write but thinking on publishing companies still give me indigestion.

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    1. Wow. You win for weirdest rejection story I've EVER heard. WTF????It doesn't even make sense. Really sorry that happened to you, Al. That suuuuckkks!!!

      So, you aren't trying to get published/get an agent??? Do you plan on self-publishing or something?

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    2. Self-publishing. I would eat a publisher anyway. I don't like to work under pressure, with deadlines and I can't write under request. Just discovered that. Anyway, think on this, the Beatles were rejected and told they "would never make it in the show business" Elvis Presley was told "to go back to his job driving trucks." Fred Astaire was told he "didn't act, didn't sing and barely danced." Rowling was told "to not quit her day job because there was no money in children's books." The author of Gone with the Wind was rejected 38 times. And finally Anne Rice said "if they say no, often is just because they don't understand your work." My point is, don't let others decide when you should stop writing. Keep writing, keep getting better and keep trying. If there are no roads, then make them yourself. :)

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  6. Just keep in mind,.when one door closes another one opens. Maybe this wasn't the right person for you, but that doesn't mean you're not good enough. Need some inspiration, go read morgan Shamy and how she talked of her rejections till she got her agent. Don't give up, if you need help with anything, feel free to ask.

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    1. Thanks very much, Tammy. I'll definitely check out Morgan's blog!! And thank you for the offer of help. I'll keep it in mind and the same goes for you. If you ever need me to look at anything, please just ask!

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  7. I know this feeling well. Don't give up. Once I had an agent love my book, make his colleague read it, start his own agency and ask if he could take me with him as a potential client--I'm definitely getting signed, right? Nope. TWO YEARS LATER he said he was sorry, it just wasn't going to happen. Then I had an agent who loved my book, called me on the phone and everything. Wanted revisions. Gave them to her. Over and over and over. Every time I would nudge her she would be all, "Oh right, can you send the file again?" I don't know what she was doing with them all but I sent my revised manuscript to her every 2-3 months for 4 and a half years and then she rejected me anyway. I know it sucks but hang in there. The right agent for you is going to jump all over your work. That's what you want. You don't want an agent who thinks your work is okay or solid or pretty good. You want an agent who thinks your work is the best freaking thing ever. The agent who pitches your book to publishers--you want that agent to be passionate and enthusiastic because at that level it gets even harder. So wait for that agent. Also with the way the industry is changing today, approaching small presses who take unagented writers is a very viable option as well!

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    1. Thank you, Lisa. That's twice now you've come to my rescue and made me feel much better. And it is really awful what you went through!! Not once, but twice!! And then she rejected you??? Too crazy!! I would've wanted to fly to wherever she was and make her eat my manuscript for dinner. haha

      But now your book is out and your dreams coming true, so I guess you got the last laugh. You are definitely a lesson in perseverance!

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  8. Querying can be soul destroying. Please don't give up.

    I received 120+ rejections, then 7 agents offered in the same week. You never know when it is going to be YOUR chance.

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    1. Thank you, Donna!! That makes me feel much, much better. Seven agents, huh??? That's awesome!!!

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    2. Wow, Donna, that makes me feel better too! You're getting some great encouragement, Tamara!

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  9. I'm so sorry, Tamara. I can't even imagine the amount of courage it takes to put your manuscript out there. Hang in there!

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    1. Thank you, Sus. I'm feeling much better. :)

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  10. It's a pain and a half, ain't it. I'm no longer bothered by rejections, but I get really annoyed when agents or publishers sound interested then are all 'nah!'

    The first time that happened, the small press said my story was interesting, unique, and all that jazz - even had a sample on their site to gauge opinions, which were all favourable - then many emails later and a chase-up ... oh noes! It's too unique! Then they suggested that maybe I should publish it myself. wtf, publisher?
    And then it happened again, with a different small press and another MS: they sent an email which said they were considering it, asked for the synopsis on the sequels. I complied ... then, with no reason why, they decided no. -_-

    Both times I ranted at my family over the stupidity of it all and quietly crying about it for days afterwards.

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    1. Wow. that really, really sucks. Seems like a lot of people have stories like that!! I'm sorry that happened to you, Aldrea. You totally deserved to rant. :( Good job hanging in there after such a crushing disappointment!!

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  11. I think we have to stick with it. Otherwise, it won't happen.

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  12. Kick and scream all you want today, let your mood swing whichever way it wants to tomorrow, and by Sunday you'll be back to you. You've been at this long enough to prove that you've got the grit to persevere in this industry - no sissies allowed. But a few choice curse words, a full-on tantrum, a bout of tears & dramatics once in a while are all perfectly acceptable, ney entirely expected (had a few myself earlier in the week).

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    1. Only took me kicking and screaming last night, and a tiny bit of sulking this morning. I was over it by this afternoon and feeling much better. Good to know that dramatics are expected once in awhile though. I really hope the next time doesn't hit me as hard at that!

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  13. Tamara,
    Querying stinks. It is quite possibly the worst thing I have ever had to do besides walk around in a bathing-suit in front of beauty-pageant judges. I actually got the warm fuzzies once because I got a form-rejection letter that was addressed to me and was nice. (Desperate, me.)
    But, we do it because we have a story to tell. Hang in there. Blog about it. Cry on our cyber- shoulders. Misery loves company. Any other pat sayings I can put here? They're pat because they are true. Swear a little. It'll help.

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    1. Thanks very much, Jill!! I have gotten a warm fuzzy or two myself from nice rejection letters. :)

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  14. Try writing something new. It feels like pulling teeth when you've invested so much time/effort in what you have, but you've really learned a lot that you haven't had a full opportunity to practice yet. I wrote something new (finally) this last November after spending *cough* eight years trying to make my original story idea work. And now I'm more excited about this new book than I was about the old one, even though it was my baby. Keep your chin up!

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  15. Why can't you curse on your blog? You sign a contract or something? ;-)
    Some Dark Romantic

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  16. I loved reading your honesty in this post. Yes, rejections suck. Big time. I like some of these suggestions here, too. I think what helped me the most, and put it all into perspective for me, was attending a local writer's conference. I made friends who were in the same boat, got great feedback from published authors, and had real, live agents tell me my story idea was awesome. After getting tons of form rejections, being told the story sounds great was a huge boost to keep trying.

    I've also started another novel. Just in cases the one that I'm querying now isn't picked up. :)

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I love to hear from everyone! Thanks for the comment. :)