THIS is "THE LOOK" |
So the rules are I have to go to my current WIP, find the word "look" and post the section which includes it, as well as the surrounding paragraphs. Then tag five other people to do the same.
I'm currently pretty excited about my latest book, The Veil-Walker. I'm seriously RIGHT at the beginning of the book, just about eight thousand words in. But I'm really liking it.
Just to give you a little background, the Veil-Walker is about a boy--Fen-- who is able to walk through the Veil between life and death and enter Purgatory. Because he's a Veil-Walker, the veil is permanently thinned around him and death leaks through, gradually killing off everyone he loves. In this scene, he just found his Gramps dead (Gramps was the last member of his family still alive). When he touched his grandfather's body, he got yanked into Purgatory.
(Oh--and Fen generally has visions of Purgatory when he looks into mirrors but, in this scene, he's only ever actually been there once)
******
And it's like every mirror I've ever looked into--only worse. My stomach lurches into my rib-cage as my body is yanked forward and up and down all at the same time. Nausea rolls through me and I put out my hands to catch myself...
“Easy, Fen.”
I jerk, my head swinging around
wildly to catch the source of the voice as my eyes pop open. I’m on my hands
and knees and above me is a grey sky…a sky I’ve only ever seen in mirrors. Rain clouds waver and glitch, unsure what they’re supposed to do in this forsaken
place. Everything feels drenched in despair.
“Fen?”
This time I recognize the voice.
Gramps, the way he used to sound, before old age diluted him into a fuzzy Xerox
of himself. I can hear him, but I still
don’t see him. All I see is the gossamer
buildings of the grey city. They waver, vague and not-quite-there. Trying
to focus on them makes my head hurt.
There’s a quick shock of fear as I
realize I’m back in the alleyway the boy died in. It looks the same, but it’s
not. Like the years changed Gramps, this place
has changed the alley—turning it into nothing but a poorly made copy of the
real one. This whole world is just a grey shadow of our own. How do I know that? I can’t. But I do. I know the rules here like I’ve
spent years memorizing them.
Everything is unstable and weak, built on the spirits trapped here, glued
together only with their yearning for life. Blurred and murky cravings leak
into the air, the buildings, the earth itself. It’s already draining me, making
my bones ache. I stagger to my feet and shout,“Gramps? You here?”
The grey
devours my words, turning them to dull whispers. I open my mouth to try again when I Gramps says, “Fen? Where are you? Come to me. Fen!” His voice is strong. Commanding.
I feel that pull again, right behind my
navel. A whoosh of air. And then I’m
back in a counterfeit copy of my living room. It's as grey here as the rest of Purgatory, but the endless rain is blocked. I'm kneeling in front of my grandfather, who looks as insubstantial as everything else. At least until he rises, leaving
his body to sag in the easy-chair.
Despite the total weirdness of the
situation, my mouth drops. In leaving his body behind, Gramps gained solidity and dropped twenty
years. The man standing in front of me is no more than fifty. Strong. Vibrant. With a low sob, I throw myself into his arms like I’m five years old again.
And tagged next is:
Talynn at Ink in the Book
Blair B. Burke at A Writer's Progression
Sherry Ellis at The Mama Diaries
Jen at Scribbles from Jenn
If you haven't checked out these blogs, make sure to pop over and say hi. They're awesome. :) Did you guys all have a good Thanksgiving? Anyone else out there working on a brand new idea? Tell me something about it!!
Hey, that's my name there! And I just dropped by to see if you wanted to participate in a little blog hop I'm doing - similar thing: posting a section of your WIP with the word 'longing' (or similar) in it. Let me know if you want to play.
ReplyDeletehaha...Sure, why not? :) Just let me know when...
DeleteWow, I very much enjoyed your writing. I could sit here and quote snippets I really liked, but there'd be too many, so I'll quote one snippet: "before old age diluted him into a fuzzy Xerox of himself." Good luck with your continued writing.
ReplyDeleteShannon at The Warrior Muse
Thanks so much, Shannon!!
DeleteHi Tamara .. that really is "the look" isn't it - must rank very high in the ratings list of "the look" - great photo for the future!!
ReplyDeleteCheers .. Hilary
haha...yeah, I loved that picture. It's too funny.
DeleteI love this excerpt, and the idea behind it; I would definitely read that story.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Laura. It's been a lot of fun so far because I'm writing it with my son. He's really talented and it's so cool to have someone else to bounce ideas off. He's taken the book in a direction I'd have never thought to go with it, but I love it. Plus, he's a teenage guy and the book is written from the POV of two teenage guys, so he's definitely helpful with voice. :)
DeleteI love your story idea. And the excerpt is wonderful - you did good to take your time on it. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Tonja! Yeah, I'd rather write it slowly and have it be good than try to rush through and have something that needs eight months of edits. (Which is what my hurried writing usually needs.) haha
DeleteThanks for tagging me. I'll have to look for the word "look" in my WIP. I like your excerpt!
ReplyDeleteYour welcome! Glad you liked it. :)
DeleteOooo!!! Your excerpt sounds so good!
ReplyDeleteThanks for tagging me! I have so many of these I need to catch up on, I'm embarrassed for taking so long:( I need to simply sit down and write one big post with all if them together:)
Hope you enjoyed your Thanksgiving.
haha...I know what you mean. I forgot about this one for awhile!!
DeleteI really enjoyed reading your excerpt. I love the idea of being back with my grandpa when he was only fifty.
ReplyDeleteJulie
Yeah, he was originally a really small part of the story, but I think I might leave him as a guide of sorts for Fen
DeleteHi Tamara,
ReplyDeleteYou're set for no return emails, and I wasn't positive you'd see my answer in my blog comments, so I figured I'd paste the answer here, as well, just in case. And I ended up adding to it, anyway. Let me know if you have anymore questions or if I didn't answer the ones you asked (thewarriormuse [at] gmail [dot] com):
Tamara, you can post about anything that might be useful or interesting to the readers. If you'd like to consider guest posting, it wouldn't be during the challenge, itself, but the rest of the year, and you can look at what others are posting to get an idea.
As for the challenge, it occurs in April. You post every week day and Saturday in alphabetical order (April 1, A; April 2, B), on any theme you like. People have posted recipes in alphabetical order, movies, music, etc. You can make it what you want. It's a lot of fun!
For more information: http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/p/what-is-blogging-from-to-z.html
Thanks for posting this here, Shannon! I'll email you back. :)
DeleteAw it sounds great! Cool concept for sure!
ReplyDeleteI did have an excellent T-Day but I ate way too much and now need to be chained to the treadmill! But I also managed to completely decorate for Xmas. Feels so productive! Oh and I turn 39 today. It's a busy week. ;)
Hope yours is going great!!
Happy Birthday!! And you sound like my sister...who also decorated her whole house. I'm lagging. I'm not quite ready for Christmas yet. Didn't we just do this last year? haha
DeleteI enjoyed reading, your excerpt! Oh, I love the idea of Gramps being Fen's guide~ How fun to write with you teenager-so much insight! Your dialogue will be authentic ;D You left me wanting more!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ella. And yeah, it's awesome writing with Chance. It's nice to have someone to share my imaginary friends with. haha Really glad you liked it!
DeleteHEY! This MS sounds like a hit. It's like you NAILED the plot and concept with this one.
ReplyDelete(Not that you didn't with your others, but you seem to have a clarity with confidence with this one, especially when it comes to theme.)
Love the idea of Purgatory, and the "Veil-Walkers" — very cool concept and lots to explore there. It'd be interesting to see what kind of mechanics you've built in for "Veil-walking".
PS: was this inspired by that flash fiction you wrote last month? About the mirror?
PPS: You seem particularly inspired + amped by this. Is it because it's your 3rd time around?