My Wildest Moment...

So, KRYSTAL WADE is hosting the Wildest Moments Blogfest to celebrate the release of her book, Wilde's Meadow. It's not to late to sign up and just by taking part you're entered to win a Kindle Fire!! All you have to do is tell us all about your wildest moments.

 Krystal is not only an awesome writer (I am loving Wilde's Fire--the first book in her trilogy), but she's also a really sweet girl. Be sure to pop over to her site, enter her blogfest, take a look at her books and tell her congrats!!

And...before I get started on my entry, I'd like to say that this post did not turn out the way it was supposed to. I meant to write some lighthearted fun story about some crazy thing I did as a kid. But then I started thinking about all those crazy times and this is what came out instead....

I have had many wild moments in my life, especially in my youth. In trying to decide what to write about my mind counted down a list of stuff.

The first time I ran away from home. I made it all the way from New Jersey to Maryland. I was a whopping fourteen years old.

The summer I spent in juvie I was fifteen (that was also the summer I met my husband in that same charming facility)

The summer I spent living in the laundry room of an apartment building? I was sixteen that year.

Or maybe I should tell about the time me and my best friend hitch-hiked all the way from New Jersey to Florida on a whim? That was a couple months after I turned seventeen.

Then there was the time I broke out of juvie....or spent two weeks sleeping in different hallways of various apartment buildings...when I hitched to New York...or that time I broke free from the cops...What to choose? What to choose?

All very wild times. Now it's like looking back on another lifetime. Thank GOD my kids are nothing like I was. Although, in my defense, my kids haven't had a reason to be the way I was. I was definitely a product of my upbringing. And my entire teenage years were crazy. I spent most of them bouncing around to different group homes, foster homes...the street. Here and there and everywhere.

At the time I had this crazy, drug-fueled, sad, wild, amazing, exhilarating, depressing, horrible, unbelievable life. I spent most of it hating myself.

And I never thought I'd overcome any of it. And it could have gone so many other ways. But it didn't. I  did overcome it. I married the guy I met in juvie and we rehabilitated each other. We raised four beautiful, amazing kids. We found something in each other that a lot of people spend their whole lives looking for. And we held onto it with both hands.

From the vantage point of adulthood, it all happened how it was supposed to. This was the life I was meant to live. Every story in me is shaped by that insane, crazy, wounded kid I used to be. I write stories about other worlds and magic and adventure and love--but in each one of those fantasies,  I leave pieces of the truth. Of myself. Of who I am and who I used to be.

When I write, I don't try to put a theme in...but, when the books are done, the themes are always the same. Love is worth any sacrifice. Perseverance will get you far. People are not always what they seem to be--you have to look past the surface.

 And one of my biggest dreams is that someday some kid...some screwed-up, wild, crazy kid will read something I wrote and some part of them will recognize a kindred spirit and believe that things can get better.

And if I could do that--if I could give a kid hope, or inspiration or the desire to keep trying for even one more day...if I could do any of that then-- in a lifetime of wild moments--that would be the wildest one of all.

YALL Fest

YALL Fest was AWESOME!! If you guys get the chance to go next year, I highly recommend it. The keynote speakers were Cassie Clare and Holly Black. They gave an awesome talk about literary friendships. They are both hilarious.

We also met Cassie when we went to get our books signed. I've told this story on the blog before, but not many people saw that post, so I'll tell it again really quickly. If you already saw this, feel free to skip past this next part. haha.

 In a nutshell, Cassie had a contest last year to win an ARC of Clockwork Prince. You had to do something creative having to do with Clockwork Angel. Draw a picture, write a poem, make a book trailer. ANYTHING. As long as it had to do with Clockwork Angel.

Chance made a video of himself holding the book in places he wasn't supposed to be. (A true teenage boy concept) Cassie ended up never seeing the video cause of a mix-up with the website hosting the contest entries. She named the winners and (since she hadn't even seen his) obviously Chance didn't get so much as an honorable mention. But I was looking at the time stamps and realized what had happened.

I ended up writing to Cassie, explaining the situation and asking if she could watch Chance's video. I told her I wasn't trying to complain and that I knew the mix-up wasn't her fault. It wasn't like I wanted her to re-vote on the contest or something. I just wanted Chance to know that his favorite author had seen the contest entry he'd worked so hard on. I sent her the link and got this email back from her ten minutes later. :

Dear Tammy,

You are absolutely right. It did look like the video came in after the cutoff date. 

And you are also right. It is a fantastic video. Chance clearly put a huge amount of effort into it and I'm glad you called my attention to it. It deserved a first prize and it should get one.

I've edited the post that states the winners to include Chance, and I will figure out *some way* to get him a copy of the new book if I have to print it out myself!

And don't worry, you don't sound complainy. Sometimes moms think the things their kids do are fantastic just because they are their moms. Sometimes they're right. :)

Cassie 


So, that's how Chance ended up winning first place in Cassandra Clare's contest. When we went to the book signing Chance introduced himself and Cassie immediately remembered him. She was SO nice. She got up and gave him a hug and thanked him for working so hard on his video. It was AWESOME--and since she is one of my idols, I made sure I got a hug too. haha. That ten minutes with her pretty much made my entire trip--especially since she also signed my canvas I made of the Infernal Devices book...It's SO much cooler now than it was. :)





And, the rest of YALL Fest was a lot of fun as  well.

The YA Smackdown at the end was hilarious. I have never seen a group of adult so utterly incapable of paying attention or following directions. My kids are always calling me oblivious, but apparently that's an inborn trait of everyone who writes YA. Every writer there was talking and joking and completely clueless that the host was trying to get them to line up and take a bow. It was so funny to watch them. And that was just the parts in between the actual skits they came up with--which i can't do justice here. There were effing elves, murderous mermaids, romancing snakes and, in the end, they threw pies.  Actual cream pies. You can't beat that, right?

AND--I got to see exclusive MTV clips of City of Bones!!! AND some super cool behind the scenes stuff about Beautiful Creatures. CAN'T WAIT FOR THOSE MOVIES!!!

So, all in all, we had an awesome time and I hope some of you guys make it up next year!! I'm posting Chance's video, just in case anyone wants to see it.

In other news, MINA LOBO actually chose me as one of her finalist in her RESURRECTION BLOGHOP. Here is where I'm supposed to pimp my entry but--having seen who I am up against--I can't even do it. haha. All the other entries are amazing and I'm just honored she chose to put me in with such illustrious company. I will however, ask you to take a minute to pop over to her site (which you should anyway, cause her site is awesome) Choose your favorite out of the seven finalist, scroll down to the poll at the end and vote. Please!! Thanks guys!! Hope you all had a great weekend!! 

And happy Veterans day. Thank you to all the amazing men and women serving our country!! 

YALL Fest!!!

Hi guys!

I'm so excited. I'm leaving Friday morning/early afternoon to drive to Charleston SC (about three and a half hours from me) to attend YALL FEST.

They have SO many amazing authors coming. It's going to be super hard to pick which events/signings to go to. And Cassandra Clare is the main speaker. Since she's one of my all time fave writers, I'm super psyched!!

Anyway, I promise to post pics/information upon my return BUT, in the meantime, are any of you going to be attending? I know it's last minute, but if you want to meet up with a fellow blogger/writer, leave a comment on this post!! I'm staying at the KOA campground and they have WIFI there, so I'll be able to check.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!! What are you guys planning to do?

Thursday's Child and Kindle Fire

Hey Guys!

So, John Krissilas  turned me onto this Blog Hop--Thursday's Child-- that is all about sharing things that inspire you in your writing. Then I found out that it originated with Rhiann Wynn-Nolet at A Nest of Words and Kristina Perez. I can't paste their linky list work here for some reason, but you can pop over to either site real quick to sign up if you want.  It would be awesome to get to visit everyone's site's and see what inspires them!!

But, before I do my Thursday's Child Post, I wanted to let you guys know about a promotion to win a  Kindle Fire. All you have to do is sign up on the WILDEST MOMENTS BLOGFEST and talk about your wildest moments. Just for sharing, you're automatically entered in the drawing for a free Kindle Fire!!. The blogfest is being hosted by KRYSTAL WADE, author of Wilde's Fire, Wilde's Army and Wilde's Meadow. (I'm reading the first one, Wilde's Fire, and really enjoying it so far)

Krystal is also an editor over at Curiosity Quills. I won a query critique from her in a contest. She critiqued my query, told me to make the changes and send it back and that she'd critique it again and keep working with me until we got it perfect. I thought that was SO sweet--definitely above and beyond the call of duty. So, that's my little plug--if you have a minute to visit her site and sign up on the linky list, that'd be awesome.

As for my post today, I'm going to have to steal John's idea. Music inspires my writing. Sometimes a little, but sometimes a LOT. Skipping Time (my first book) was totally changed of music. I literally rewrote the  entire book because I heard a song that connected with me/the character so deeply that I knew I had to fit it in. And the changes I made because of that song made the book WAY better.

I actually really love writing to music, but it HAS to be the right song. If it's not, I kind of find it distracting. I wrote all of Skipping Time to a playlist that I painstakingly put together over the months. With Against the Falling Moons, I wrote ninety-five percent of the book in silence. (Well...that is--if talking kids, video games, two-year old chatter and UFC fights in the background is considered "silence") haha

So, I've done it both ways now. Getting ready to start on a new book (Plotted it all out today. Yay!)
 I've already decided this one has to be written to a playlist. It just makes it way more fun.

I was over on John's site and he had some great instrumentals up, which inspired me to want to try that. For me it's always been about the lyrics of the song, but when I listened to the stuff he had, I could see where a good soundtrack in the background could really make the scene/my writing come alive, so I'm excited about giving it a shot.

Anyway, that's it for me.

How about you guys? Does music inspire your writing? What are some songs you like? And are you more about the music or the lyrics--or do both have to fit?

Insecure Writers Group and Resurrection Blogfest

So, I've definitely had some major insecurity this month. Which is really pathetic, considering that I've only gotten four rejections. Four is nothing. Less than nothing. Four doesn't matter. It doesn't even matter that one of them was on a partial, not just your standard query/sample.

I know that, in my head. But the rest of me feels like shit.  I'm just not sure I can handle doing this again. 

The first book I wrote, Skipping Time, took me three and a half years to finish. During that time period, I rewrote the whole book three times. That book had my whole heart in it. And it was good--it isn't one of those things where I can look back now, a year and a half later, and cringe at how bad it is. True, it had some mistakes--ones that I see much more clearly now than I did then, but the characters themselves had so much heart that they carried the book-even with its flaws. 

Just so you guys know,  up until a month ago I was really self-deprecating about my writing. I was just never sure if I was any good. And then I entered a couple writing contests and won both.And it REALLY helped. So now I know I'm good at this and I don't have a problem saying that anymore. And, looking at it as objectively as I'm capable of-- I still say Skipping Time was good enough to get published. 

But it didn't. And there could have been a million reasons why or no reasons why and it doesn't matter. There was nothing I could do about it. After an embarrassing amount of rejections, I shelved it and decided to write something else. Something more commercial. Something easier to get an agent for. I threw myself into a new book and, a year and some months later, here I am. 

THIS is where it's supposed to be easier than it was the first time. Only I don't think it's gonna be. 

And I'm just realizing that I suck at rejection. It's too hard not to take it personally. I guess I never "dealt with" any of the rejections from Skipping Time. Three years of my life, a lot of them spent working ten to twelve hours a day--to hear it wasn't good enough.  How the hell do you "deal" with that? I know you've all been there, so I don't have to explain how shitty it feels. I just shrugged it off and moved on. 

 I never let myself feel any pain or loss or disillusionment. I wrote something else and poured all my hope into it. And now, every rejection I get on Against the Falling Moons hits me ten times as hard as the rejections on Skipping Time. Each rejection is like getting punched in the stomach. Each one throws me into a depression. And I don't know what to do about it. 

I think it's cause this was my second try book--but it's not technically my second book--technically, considering all the rewrites on Skipping Time, this book is my fifth book--which means, by now, I should be good enough to get published. Sooooo...what do I do if I can't find an agent for this one? Write a sixth book? Who's to say I'd have any better luck with that? What am I going to do if this never happens? 

These are questions that don't really have answers. But hey--it is the Insecure Writers Group. So this is me, being insecure. 

_________________________________________________________________________________

And--given how long that was, I really shouldn't suck up any more of your time--but I signed up for the Resurrection Blog Fest, which is kind of silly considering that I've only been blogging a few months. Not sure what I was thinking. BUT, I did have a few posts that were barely read--so I figured I could put up one of them. The problem is, the only ones I have are pretty long and I didn't want to post anything too long after my rant on writing. 

To that end, I'm just going to repost a story I wrote(which is still sorta long but at least its interesting) This is one of the ones that won me a contest--much to my HUGE surprise. The way I figure it, a lot of my followers have read this, so they can stop reading here and move on. But, anyone new stopping by from the blogfest will have something to read. So, here it is, hope you like it. 

BEYOND

My father is obsessed with where people go after death. He swears Heaven and Hell are legends of parallel worlds. He claims the energy released during death propels a soul into the world beyond this. He thinks if he traps that energy, he can travel worlds without the inconvenience of dying.  He experiments on the most vulnerable souls—ones with no shields. Ghosts.  

 “Morrigan-Persephone! I said get my voltage-amplifier!” 

I frown at my full name. Like naming me after the goddess of death wasn’t bad enough without tacking on Hades bride. Someday, when I’m free, I’ll only answer to the nickname he hates.  Mori.

At my desk in the corner of the cavernous lab, I deliberately knock my schoolwork to the floor. 

My father mutters, “Clumsy bitch.” 

I crouch, slowly gathering my things. My eyes flicker to the tiny plexiglass room in the lab’s center. White candles and salt encircle it. Ghost prison.

Behind the plexiglass walls, Jack watches me.  Contrary to beliefs, ghosts aren’t transparent. Except for radiating a soft luminescence, Jack is just a hot seventeen-year old guy.  Dark, perpetually-mussed hair and eyes the color of the torn jean-jacket he’s been wearing since his motorcycle skidded off the bridge.

His voice fills my mind. “Get him the amp.” I shake long blond hair over my bruised cheek, hiding what happens when I don’t obey my father. Jack bangs on the glass. “It won't hurt me.It's okay.Please, Mori." He can't be sure about that, but I reluctantly stand.

All ghosts sound different. The angry ones hurt, like knives carving my mind. The sad ones are like prickly burrs. The lost--icy water. But Jack…Jack’s all summer.  

“Godamn it, Morrigan!”

I hurry to hand my father his voltage-amplifier. He snatches it, glaring. His latest experiment involves slamming electricity through Jack.

 Returning to my desk, I glance at Jack's cell. Nobody else would see him huddled in the corner. They’d see an empty room.

My father loves bragging that his experiments on my mother during her pregnancy made me into his secret weapon. He doesn’t care that my mother died from his experiments. He cares that I’m “extraordinary.”

 I see ghosts. Hear them. I sense when someone’s dying. I find my father souls. Even knowing ghosts feel pain, knowing how many disintegrate after my father’s experiments, I’m too scared to refuse. I’m as bad as him.

My father stands. Thin and balding, he appears harmless--except for he’s holding something like electrified prongs. As he approaches the glass room, Jack shuts his eyes.

With every step my father takes, I remember.

Jack in the hospital, his charcoal hair sketched across the canvas of bandages. He melted my defenses, even then.  I tried to stop my father from taking him. I woke in the lab, bloody and bruised. Jack was already behind glass. Dead-- his essence imprisoned. He still asked, “Are you alright?”

I pretended I couldn’t see him.

 Jack wouldn’t give up.  

Mid-way through the first week he was yelling in my head. “I know you hear me. I can tell!” By the end of the second-- begging. “Please? Just look at me, Mori.”

That’s what won me. Not Morrigan. Mori.

I remember Jack’s grin when I finally looked into his eyes. “There. Was that so hard?”

His dimple deepening when I answered, “You’re a pain in the ass.”

Over the months, Jack became my first friend. I finally tried stealing my father’s key to release him. It took weeks to recover from the beating. And somewhere in all that, our friendship became…more.

My father approaches Jack and something in me snaps.

Then I’m running, skidding on the linoleum. As my father steps into Jacks room, I crash into him. He stumbles as Jack yells, “Mori! No!”

But sixteen years of fury is exploding. Kicking, screaming, I grab for the glowing prongs.Everything happens so fast…

 My father jabs wildly with his weapon.

 Jack dives in front of me.

 The electrified-prongs pass through him...and slam into my heart.

Excruciating pain. Roaring pulse. Flash-grenades of memories and emotions that aren’t mine. My face hovers before me. But not the weak, bruised girl from my mirror. This girl has a bright smile, autumn-sky eyes, hair like sunlight. In Jacks eyes, this fearless girl is me.

I crumble. The pain slips into numbness. Calloused hands help me stand. Only…my body’s still on the ground. Strong arms surround me. “Don’t be scared.”

Jack’s breath is warm. He’s solid. Alive. I’m not.

He turns me. “Look.”

I gasp. An archway hangs in the air—showcasing a Technicolor world. Jewel-like birds trill in kelly-green treetops.  Puddles of rainbow flowers splash the emerald hills. Cobblestone ribbons unspool towards the horizon.  

 “We’re free, Mori.” We step towards the doorway together.

My father breathes. “It worked.”

 I turn back. He’s smiling fanatically. He doesn’t see his dead daughter--just the doorway.  In killing me, he finally opened it.

Jack and I move like one person. In some ways, we are. I feel his emotions, see his memories. When my father hit us with that current, part of our souls…melded.  Jack loves me. It’s all I feel, all that matters.

To my father, we’re invisible. He steps towards the door. Jack and I thrust our hands towards him. The whole, “ghostly-moving objects” is crap. Ghosts don’t have enough life-energy to move dust. My father should walk right through us.

Instead, he flies backward, crashing to the floor. For a split-second, our eyes meet. Somehow, he sees me. I flip him off and slam the door. The handle melts. Maybe I am extraordinary.

My father screams.

 Jack laughs. “Nice! Now come on!”

As we step through the archway, it disappears. The grass is downy-soft. The air smells like I’d imagine starlight would. But I’m not looking around. I’m looking at Jack. He leans in. My whole world becomes his mouth, soft and hot against mine.  

So, it turns out my father was wrong. Heaven’s no myth. It’s right here in front of me. 

Thank you!!!!

Hi Everyone,

Today is the start of the "I'm Thankful for my Readers Blogfest" hosted by Tara Tyler and Vicki I think this is a great idea, and I'm really happy I get to participate. So, for the first thank you--Thanks Tara and Vicky!!

I'd like to say a a few more special thank you's. One to KAREN DENISE, for being the best critique partner ever and reading my chapters a zillion times. I'm so grateful I get to work with you!! Also, to STACY STOKES, you were a great beta reader and your advice was awesome!! I'm so glad I found you! To JOHN KRISSILAS for nudging me into entering Pitch Live after I tried to chicken out. That got me three requests I'm anxiously waiting to hear about, so thanks John!! And, lastly, to ALEX CAVANAUGH, who everyone knows is awesome. Alex has commented on almost every post I've ever written. I don't know how you do it, Alex, but it's definitely appreciated!!

And, for the rest of you who I didn't name, I am grateful for all of you!! This goes out to everyone who has helped me try to achieve my goals.

Thank you for reading my story

And thanks for the advice

Thanks for telling me to never give up,

To keep on rolling the dice.

Thanks for the revisions

And all the notes on my book

Thanks for giving me options

When I didn’t know where to look

Writing is the closest thing to magic

That I will ever find

And I’m so very grateful

To meet others of my kind

You’ve made my journey brighter

I know I’m part of a team

That all supports each other

In reaching for our dream

And all those days I whine and cry

And say that I can’t write

Thanks for telling me I’m not allowed

To leave my pages white

Most of all I thank you

For believing in me

Because the stories I write

Set me free

To live in a world  

Where anything is real

Where the enchantment of the pages

Is the only thing I feel.

And, lastly, I got my kids, their friend, and my husband all in on saying thank you with me, cause they are all awesome. Hope you guys like it! And a special thank you to my husband for taking like an hour and a half to edit this together! For some reason, I couldn't upload the video straight to my blog, but just click the link. :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nw86g0XyEmM

Blog Award

So, Laura from My Baffling Brain was sweet enough to award me the Super Sweet Blogger Award. :)

Thank you, Laura!!

I have to answer sweet related questions, so here they are:

Cookies or Cake? Definitely cake!!

Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate all the way.

What is your favorite sweet treat? I switch around a lot but I'm currently into chocolate cake.

When do you crave sweet things the most? Ummmm...at a certain specific time of the month. hehe

If you had a sweet nickname, what would it be? My husband calls me sweetie, so I guess that works.

So, I'm going to pass this on to:

TARA TYLER
BLAIR BURKE

In other news, I spent my night doing this:

 See? I'm multi-talented.

I have to do something to help pay the bills until I become a huge best-seller. ;)So this is what I do whenever I can. As jobs go, it's fun--but a prerequisite is liking kids. Which, luckily, I do. And, now I have to get off my blog and go work on my book for a bit. I'm supposed to be doing Nanowrimo--but I haven't started yet. Sigh. Too many other things going on. At least I'm only two days behind. Plenty of time to catch up, right? 

Oh! I've been meaning to ask. Are any of you guys going to Yall Fest?? I'm going to be there and I'd love to meet up!! Let me know...Thanks!